As the relentless march of time continues to advance, the workforce continuously gains new blood, edging out the retirees with every passing year. When you get to a certain age, an interesting thing happens: your newest coworkers start to look younger and younger. The last time you felt this way you were in grade school (“Why do the kindergarteners get so much smaller every year?”). It’s scary, because once upon a time, you were their age, so full of energy and fresh ideas, ready to take on the world. You’re pretty good at your job, but you know that eventually a younger person will occupy your position, preferably when you’re ready, but it’s still a sobering thought.
For Freebie Friday this week, we’re featuring a corporate PowerPoint course starter, starring your new boss. He’ll eat you for breakfast, but only once he’s finished with his Fruit Loops. He wears only the finest tailored suits–from the Armani section of Gymboree. He doesn’t tolerate nonsense unless it’s in the form of a Saturday morning cartoon. He’s the most powerful executive you’ve seen at this company in years, and the kid’s only eight!
“I’m not pleased with your performance this quarter, Mr. Phillips. I’m afraid we’re gonna have to let you go. Clear out your desk and grab a goodie bag on the way out.”
“Could somebody please fax these yearly sales projections to our Tokyo branch? I can’t reach the buttons!”
“Ladies and gentleman please be seated. Women on the left side, men on the right. We don’t want another cootie incident like last week when Angela from accounting touched my hand.”
“I’m pleased to announce that the boys in the safety department have approved my proposal to replace the fire escapes with a functional bouncy castle at the bottom of the empty elevator shaft. On an unrelated note, we can no longer offer insurance packages. Now let’s wrap this up, my mom is picking me up in 10 minutes.”
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